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Thursday, 16 September 2010

Am in love and life is pearly

Same as title.

Think I should start a new, happier blog.

More like me.

Over and out, nobody.

Friday, 13 November 2009

Can't fucking stop

I am freaking out. But am calm on the outside. I know there isn't a spark between the guy I am dating and me, so I broke it off. Am ignoring him as I type. He is great, smart, tall, refined, mature...everything....and he fell HARD for me...I know that he is falling in love...and that I am most definately not....Since I stopped...I just can't stop eating...FUCK
What is going on? I don't even care that much about him...and it was a conscious decision I know is right....what is wrong with me.............
I can't believe I am still a size 8....motherfucker I don't want to be the fat girl

Friday, 28 August 2009

5 more days till I see my man =)

Ok, I feel like a drug addict...except my drug is recognition for my appearence....I don't even know why I want everyone to want me, why I even try...when I do get whoever I tried to get..I just feel empty...it is like a sick game for me...walking down the street and seeing people's heads turn just makes me feel so great...I know it is ridiculous but I just can't stop....I love seeing men stare at me...I almost laughed out loud today when I saw a guy who was with his girlfriend do a total double take...it feels so great just to be able to write all of this without having to worry about what the people around me will think...nobody knows who I am...yay! I don't know if there is anyone else out there like me...who has been thorough this shit...maybe the Church really is the only way out...
I'm already worrying about losing my looks...fuck...
Actually in the bottom of my heart all I want is to be a mom and a good wife........but I got a bit side-tracked...
Totally want Baleciaga's great grey motorcycle bag!!! Arghh!!

Monday, 10 August 2009

CH-current him!

Been awhile since I blogged here, on vacation in Europe all summer, met up with a guy a met a few years ago randomly on a flight, I was going to his city so he asked me out, oh God it was fucking amazing, he took me out with his guy-friend on a boat, for drinks, then dinner and lastly the Hilton Skybar...it was great. A few down-sides though...he is 14 years my senior..I don't really care that much but I'm afraid of what people (aka my parents!) will think if we start going out seriously..also we are in differet cities, actually not too worried about that, he is super rich so we'll manage..one thing I'm not so happy about was that I almost slept with him on like the second date...so not me!!!! I couldn't believe it afterwards..I'm a fucking virgin for chrissake! I worked too hard in the past few years to throw everything away...he couldn't BELIEVE it when I told him..but I think he liked it!
He introduced me to his friends, I do get a tiny feeling that I'm a bit of an OBJECT when we are out together, the young, hot girlfriend and all that...but I don't care! Its an ego-boost for me...One other FREAKY thing is that by being with an older man I can see how I totally have DADDY ISSUES....I love my dad but he was always kind of absent and I never felt like he appreciated me physically...
The CH is on a business trip at the mo, we are webcaming when we can, it was a bit weird but I'm getting used to it...22 days till he gets back!!! :)
One last thing...I have found out that there are two types of guys...boob guys and ass guys...mine is defo the latter..its a plus! For once I'm glad to have the ass I have!!
Peace and love to y'all!!

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

0623

Ok, I'm going to start to blog about my "him".

Actually, my "ex-him".
Sigh

We were just friends. Friends.

We met the first day of university, I have always hated his type, I thought him to be pompus and full of himself because he was, ahem, gorgeous! I usually stay away from guys who look like players, ha. (This joke is totally on me by the way.)
He is tall, about 6"2, nice body, great ass, gorgeous, serious brown eyes, long lashes, handsome as anything...I was seeing someone and frankly, the thought didn't even go through my head that there might be more. In fact, I think I took pride in the fact that I didn't fall at his feet.
We sat together at our first lecture and something just clicked, all the false pretensions I had about him were gone and we just really enjoyed each other's company. We had great understanding of each other and great "banter"...we just had fun together...
Fast forward to two years later, I broke up with my BF and he broke up with his, and for the first TIME ever we are both single at the same time..things started to change...gradually...